My Funniest Thanksgiving Story Ever

Last weekend, the weekend before Thanksgiving, I went to the grocery store to gather some ingredients for beef barley soup. I like soup. The check-out guy told me I earned a free turkey for spending $300 on groceries since whatever date. I didn't think much of it until I told Fred, and he said, "How did you earn a turkey? You hardly ever shop." 

not me

I thought about it and he is right--he does most of the general shopping and I buy stuff for specific meals, half the time at the other store near work. 



That card I have is old and must be linked to...the ex-husband's card! People tell me I think too much about stuff, but can you imagine if I had redeemed the offer for the free turkey (or turkey breast, frozen lasagna, or canned ham) and then he was denied when he went to get his free bird?!



I laughed over this, Fred laughed over this, and people at work laughed (and encouraged me to do it!!) I would never actually take the turkey he (mostly) earned, but I momentarily entertained the idea of holding his frozen free turkey ransom until he returned that other half of the wedding china that walked away as part of the divorce settlement. (They're only things...I'll replace them someday.) It wouldn't have worked, of course--he'd just buy a different turkey.

not my turkey

I could have gotten locked up for serving a fraudulent bird, but luckily I realized that this whole thing happened because I was too lazy to go sign up for a new card after the divorce a decade ago. I'm going to sign up for a shiny new card in my own name this weekend!

But wait, that's not where the story ends. I shared the story with another divorcee I know via Facebook. I was expecting her to like the story and maybe send me a smiley face in return. Instead, I was rewarded with her better story. Years ago, she went to redeem the free Thanksgiving turkey she earned at the same supermarket and was told that her free bird had already been redeemed. By her ex. He had even changed the address on her card to his new address. The store gave her a free turkey anyway and sent her shiny new cards in the mail. Way to go Shop Rite! Anyway, even though she got her shiny new Shop Rite cards, she kept the old one...and...before the next Thanksgiving...she may or may not have redeemed his free turkey...

Too funny.